In the nine months leading up to welcoming a baby, chances are your to-do list can seem endless at times.
From getting the nursery ready to finding all the right baby accessories, choosing the perfect name for your little one can be a creative or difficult task – maybe even both at the same time!
The truth is that choosing a baby name is a personal and delicate process that often leads to misunderstandings between partners, within families, and even between friends.
Fortunately, there are simple ways to deal with even the most serious baby name conflicts. Here are five common problems parents face and how to solve them:
1/5
The conflict: You are overwhelmed with many options.
Finding that you like too many names is also a possible cause of confusion and tension.
The solution: Start with extensive baby name research to understand what’s popular, what’s trending, and what names you’re drawn to. From there, ask yourself questions like:
• Do you want a name that is more famous or less common?
• Do you want a conventional name, or are you drawn to names that come from non-traditional sources?
Do you prefer a name with a clear gender identity or one that is appropriate regardless of gender?
. Does meaning matter to you, and if so, which is most important?
• What names appeal to you emotionally, and what do you like about them?
Considering these factors can help you put together a shorter list and make your final choice in no time.
2/5
The conflict: You feel pressured by family members.
Whether it’s an aggressive father-in-law or mother-in-law who interferes in the process or an entire side of the family who assumes that your baby will be given a certain name, couples often come into conflict with their loved ones who have their own opinion. But if you give in to family pressure to name your baby a name you don’t personally like, you’ll only regret it.
The Solution: Setting boundaries is key. You and your partner need to unite, so start discussing with each other how you would like to respond to both sets of parents. Determining the boundaries of how much you allow your parents and in-laws into your family life is much easier when you are both on the same page and ready to resist the pressure of the name together.
For example, you can suggest a simple, clear statement such as: “We understand your point of view and appreciate your concern, but we still plan to name him/her with the name we have chosen.”
3/5
The conflict: You are drowning in too much information
All too often, parents find themselves overwhelmed by confusing feedback from family members, friends, colleagues, and even casual acquaintances.
The fix: If you’re getting too much information, it can be confusing. While it may be easier said than done, making a concerted effort not to share your favorite choice can save you a headache. Keeping the baby’s name a secret gives you and your partner time and space to make this important decision for yourself without unnecessary interference.
4/5
The conflict: You struggle to name baby number 2 or 3 because you want it to match the names of their siblings.
If this sounds like you, you are not alone. Many parents say they find it easier to name a first baby than younger siblings, as the first name can set a style or tone that you may feel obligated to follow, narrowing down the list with OPPORTUNITIES.
The solution: First, know that it is normal for your children to have many different names. But if complementary names are important to you, think about what factors you want to combine.
5/5
Conflict: You and your partner are out of sync.
Maybe one of you prefers traditional names, and the other wants something more unique. One really wants to be with a certain initial, and the other prefers others. The idea that you can finally settle on a name that you agree with seems almost impossible.
The solution: Talk about it, and when you do, get under the surface. Your name preferences may be related to your feelings towards your family, friends, and your own name. For example, your partner may not have wanted to be one of the five boys named Georgi in his class, while you didn’t want to write your name in front of every teacher. Or maybe your partner feels a strong desire to continue family traditions with the name, while you want to establish your own traditions with a more modern name.
It can also be beneficial for both partners to have the right to a “veto list” so that they can stand by their strong opinion on certain names, as long as each veto has a valid reason. After all, no one wants to baptize their baby after elementary school bullies, ex-boyfriends, or other people with whom they have a bad relationship.
