Smaller Today. 

Wow. Where have I been? It’s been far too long since my last blog post. I guess life got blissfully busy and although the words were there the time to write them down wasn’t. Speaking of time, that is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. To say time is a thief doesn’t even begin to describe it. We just booked Kaiden’s third birthday party. Three years. How in the world has it already been three years? Not long after Kaiden turns three, Owen will be turning one! They keep growing and yet I never notice myself getting older.

When I imagined finally being a mom I could so easily picture myself with all my babies in tow, the more the better. But to picture myself with middle schoolers, or high schoolers?! Seemed so strange (still does, haha). Even thinking of Kaiden being in kindergarten in a few years is hard for me to imagine. But as with everything suddenly it just happens. Time sneaks up on us when we least expect it.  He’s turning three and I can’t stop it. Owen stood up for a full minute on his own today and as my heart was bursting with pride the other part of me wanted to sit him back down. Didn’t they just hand me him in the hospital? Didn’t we just bring him home? Now he’s getting ready to take his first steps. Slow down sweet babies.

So often it seems like time is something we are unaware of until we look back. A week, a month, a year. It’s then that we notice the changes and exclaim “it feels like just yesterday!” There are times that I wish so badly we had more control over time. I would love to slow it down. To stretch out these years of having tiny babies. To make those newborn cuddles last just a little while longer. To nurse my babies to sleep a few extra nights. To wash those tiny clothes one more time. But maybe it’s time that makes all those things so special. Each moment is amazing. Each milestone something to celebrate. Each stage just as special and important as the last. Watching our boys grow into their own and become these amazing individuals, each with their own unique personality is indescribable.

Since becoming a mom myself, I’ve become more and more aware of my relationship with my mom. I think about how so many years ago I was that newborn that she was handed in the hospital. How amazing is that? That being a mom (parent) is forever. It’s something that transcends time. It’s something that time can’t take from us. My mom raised five babies. She was handed five little newborns and over the years loved us, taught us, watched us grow, and eventually had to let us go. Now we are all adults and have gone off to create our own lives but one thing we all know is that she is always our mom. As much as I dread the day my babies leave the nest I find comfort in knowing that although time is a thief, it is also a gift. Time has taken my two newborn babies from me but time has also given me my silly two year old and cuddly nine month old. Time has turned my mom into my best friend. Time has given me a loving husband and beautiful family. Time definitely steals, but time also gives.

I still have my issues you, time. But maybe you aren’t as completely terrible as I once thought. That being said, I still wouldn’t mind my babies growing up just a little bit slower if you could possibly make that happen? Until then I will just keep reminding myself that although they may not be as small as they were yesterday, they are smaller today than they will be tomorrow ♡

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